Kabbalah teaches that every soul is destined to find its soul mate, thus completing the wholeness of the soul. The two parts of the soul are the female aspect and the male aspect. Each one separately is incomplete yet becomes whole when it is united with its other half.
According to kabbalistic teachings, the soul must reconnect with the missing part in order to fulfill its purpose and bring about true happiness. This can be challenging however, especially when life throws out bumps, bridges and other obstacles.
All relationships are faced with twists and turns along the way which can cause stress, unhappiness and doubts. Even soul mates run into obstacles that need to be worked through. From a kabbalistic point of view, every relationship has four phases, which are visited often and at different times throughout the relationship.
The First Phase of a Relationship – The Happy, Loving Honeymoon Phase
The first phase of a relationship is the initial attraction, the magnet that draws two people together. This phase often presents itself as lust, puppy love and the sparks that ignite the relationship.
In this phase, there is no work involved to keep the relationship together. The sparks are there and are meant to be enjoyed. Relationships remain in this phase for anywhere from ten minutes to ten months depending on individual life experiences, maturity and consciousness.
While this first phase comes automatically, it is necessary to work to keep the firing burning (the relationship) once the initial spark (the first phase) is gone.
The Second Phase of a Relationship – The Reality Phase
As the second phase of a relationship begins, the first phase can come to a sudden, abrupt end. This may leave feelings of disappointment with the realization that the other person in the relationship is not as perfect as once thought.
With the second phase comes the realization that the other person has faults, negative and annoying attributes as well as positive. The main question that usually arises during this phase is, according to Yehuda Berg, “Can I support this person in front of me? It’s not about supporting the man you think is in front of you or the man you hope will one day be in front of you…Look directly at the actual man who is standing before you.”
It's said that this is the phase where true desire begins – the puppy love phase has passed and real challenges begin to arise.
The Third Phase of a Relationship – The Turmoil and Transformation Phase
The third phase of a relationship is the ultimate test and requires the most work and sacrifice to move forward. During this phase of the relationship chaos and conflict create instability in the relationship.
Whatever the conflict — dishonesty in the relationship, financial mistakes, a bad decision — it must be discussed and resolved. This phase is often the most difficult and almost always requires one or both people to make some sort of sacrifice. In the process, this should lead to transformation – resulting in a more spiritually grounded, supportive and connected relationship.
The Fourth Phase of a Relationship – The Evaluation Phase
The fourth phase of a relationship is the time to examine “the result of asking yourself the tough questions, making a decision and accepting the outcome.”
This phase is a time to reflect on the relationship and the personal choices that were made. It provides an opportunity to think about what worked well, what didn’t, how things could be different next time.
Cycling Through the Four Phases of a Relationship
Relationships can go through each phase several times.The relationship may be in one phase for as little as a day or two and then move on to the next phase where it remains for several months.
The key to working through each phase of the relationship is recognizing the phases, realizing the relationship's current phase and understanding that the relationship will eventually move on to another phase.
By working together and learning through each phase, relationships can grow stronger, soul mates can become closer and spirituality grows allowing in more light.
For more information on relationships and soul mates, see The Spiritual Rules of Engagement by Yehuda Berg.
Malysa Stratton Louk - Malysa Stratton Louk is a freelance writer, journalist & photographer in the Pacific Northwest. View her full profile for more ...
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